So your son graduated from college, can’t find a job, and needs a place to live—what’s a parent to do?

The first time Mark Bolich Jr. stayed out all night, he faced his not-too-happy parents the next morning.

"You could have called," they admonished him. "You could have sent us a text message. We were worried about you."

If Bolich were a high-school student, he would have expected such a reaction. But this time he was 22 and living at home after being away at college in another state for four years. He had forgotten what it was like to answer to someone regarding his whereabouts.

"That's when I realized I had to make some adjustments," said Bolich, now 23, of St. Petersburg, Florida. "What they were asking wasn't unreasonable. They weren't telling me what to do. They just wanted to know I was safe."

Bolich is a "boomerang kid"-a young adult who ends up moving back home after living independently. Some are returning to school; most are struggling with finances because they can't find work in a rocky economy, or their job doesn't pay the bills. Or a sudden lifestyle change, like a divorce or an addiction, could bring them home.

For parents, having a young adult back home poses some challenges: Do we charge rent? Will this arrangement harm or help our relationship? Do we set a timetable for moving out?

It can be an equally tough adjustment for their kids, from dating dilemmas to expectations about attending Mass. Their independence is not easily surrendered. If they choose to sleep with a partner outside of marriage or abandon religious practices, they now face scrutiny by the very people who once determined the rules of the house.

One thing for certain: They are not alone.

Prodigal children

In 2009 the Pew Research Center released some sobering statistics on the trend. About 20 million people ages 18 to 34 live with their parents, which is about 30 percent of that age group. Researchers put the blame squarely on the economy.

Welcoming back to the nest adult children who temporarily need some support may seem like the right thing to do. But it also comes at a time when the parents are dealing with diminished retirement and savings accounts or even a job loss. What starts off as a well-meaning gesture can disintegrate into a strained or simmering situation.

"This is a generation that is used to getting everything a lot faster than their parents did 50 years ago. First cars, first condos, first credit cards-all of that comes a lot younger these days," says Delis Alejandro, pastoral associate at St. Monica Parish in Santa Monica, California. "I don't think they've learned how to be good stewards of their lives. Practical common sense, like how to budget and setting realistic expectations, is not so prevalent. Immediate gratification is more the norm."

In her work with college students, Alejandro says the burden of school loans is the number one reason young people are getting into financial sinkholes. She also blames easy access to credit cards for giving this generation a false feeling of security.

Alejandro says she sees a lot of stressed-out kids these days: "It's heartbreaking." They are getting a big dose of the reality that living on their own is costly.

"They didn't have a plan in place. Things didn't turn out like they intended, so Mom and Dad become the safety net," Alejandro says. "There's nothing shameful in that, as long as a plan is put into place. If you approach this loosey-goosey, you're heading for trouble."

It wasn't an easy decision for Kelly Brown, 24, also of St. Petersburg. She was juggling a full load of college classes and working as a nanny when she took a break for a three-week mission trip to Ghana with the LifeTeen youth ministry program. The stress of keeping up with her studies, the demands of the job, and staying on top of her bills was getting to be too much.

After much prayer, she e-mailed her folks from the African country: Can I come home to live when I get back?

"I felt a little foolish about it at first," Brown admits. "There's a bit of a stigma attached to going back home at this age. But I felt I was being obedient to what God was moving in my heart. Given my circumstances, I knew it was the right thing to do."

Her parents also knew their daughter was under pressure and were happy to accommodate her. With their sons away, the house was "a little too quiet," says her father, Terry Brown. "You want to be there when your kids need help. And they're still your kids, even when they've grown up. We know she has goals and she works hard. One day she'll be gone again, so we're making the most of this time together."

Home economic slump

The recession that began in December 2007-just like the economic downturns in 1982 and 2001-is the main culprit for this societal change. And boomerang kids are bearing the brunt in this shift in cultural norms, says David Morrison, founder of Twentysomething Inc., a marketing and research firm.

"Young adults are the first to feel the brunt of a bad economy and the last to feel the benefits of a recovering economy," he told USA Today. "So the first way you hedge your bets is to minimize your expenses."

While moving back in with the folks may seem like the only solution, some experts urge young adults to explore other options first, such as finding roommates to share living expenses. If returning home is the only option, be prepared for some emotional fallout.

"Disillusionment is at the top of the list. You go to college to be a success, and get all built up for a bright future," says Theresa Thibodeaux, young adult ministry coordinator for the archdiocese of Los Angeles. "Then nothing pans out after school, and you're back home, right where you started, and you're thinking, ‘This is not the way it was supposed to go.'"

When Thibodeaux counsels adults in their 20s, she uses her own experience to show how moving home can feel like being in a time warp. After graduating from Loyola Marymount University in Los Angeles and taking a two-month trip to Europe, she came home with $2 in her pocket. She landed a job as a high school teacher, but the salary was rock-bottom. So she moved back home-right into her old bedroom, which she shared with her younger sister.

"She went to the same school where I was teaching. Now that was weird," recalls Thibodeaux.

Even though her parents gave her freedom to come and go as she pleased for the six months she lived there, nothing compares to being on your own. When she counsels boomerang kids, she tells them to be patient, be flexible, and expect a period of adjustment. Give your parents a chance to adapt to this new version of you.

"I know the economy is making this a more common occurrence these days. I just think we have to avoid this sense of entitlement that parents owe us and we're going to get a free ride from them," Thibodeaux said. "There are ramifications to returning to the nest."