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Why can’t Catholics wed outdoors?

Thursday, August 27, 2009
ShareThis Of the four wedding invitations currently posted on my refrigerator, only one is for a ceremony to be held in a church. The others? All will be outdoors: in a hotel garden, under a restaurant gazebo, or in a park. The beauty of God's creation seems a perfect setting for making a lifetime commitment. So why doesn't the Catholic Church allow couples to get married outside?

Perhaps the better question is: Why does the Catholic Church prefer that couples be married in their parish church? In a society where vows are exchanged while scuba or sky diving, the church is trying to emphasize the seriousness and sacredness of the commitment by requiring that the sacrament be celebrated in that place where the church community normally gathers. A couple that marries in a Catholic church is demonstrating that their faith is part of their new life together from the beginning.

It is true that Catholic wedding ceremonies have varied over the centuries. However, Canon 1118 from the Code of Canon Law states that "marriage between Catholics or between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic party is to be celebrated in a parish church." The local bishop may permit the ceremony in another Catholic church or oratory (such as a university chapel). And, if a Catholic marries a non-baptized person, they may be allowed an exception to be married in "some other suitable place."

The question remains: Is the out of doors a suitable place to get married? Many couples-as evidenced by the immense popularity of this topic on online wedding chat groups-believe it is. It's not uncommon to hear younger Catholics say they have had more powerful experiences of God's presence on hikes through the woods than in their parish churches, a fact that should be cause for some self-examination by the church.

On the other hand, some couples choose to hold their ceremony in a Catholic church for all the "wrong" reasons, such as length of the center aisle or proximity to a reception site. The conspicuous consumption of today's popular wedding culture puts choosing a ceremony site on par with picking a florist.

Many U.S. dioceses have moved toward hard-and-fast rules against any Catholic outdoor weddings, with policies that imply that parks, gardens, and homes are not "dignified" enough for the sacrament of Marriage. Of course, other sacraments, including Eucharist, Anointing of the Sick, and Reconciliation, are allowed in non-church settings, including out of doors.

Sadly, until a more pastoral solution is found, an increasing number of couples consider this ban just another reason to skip getting married in the church.

By Heidi Schlumpf, associate professor of communications at Aurora University in Aurora, Illinois. This article appeared in the May 2009 issue of U.S. Catholic (Vol. 74, No. 5, pg 41)

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The three are God, the

The three are God, the husband, and the wife.

In a field

It's ironic that the Church says Catholics can't get married outdoors while conservative "orthodox" posters who tout the "smaller-purer" Church envisioned by Pope Benedict say that buildings don't matter and they can celebrate mass in a field.

I'm guessing the Church would have a problem with that too. Am I wrong?

I think the key element in

I think the key element in having weddings in the parish church is that the marriage should take place within the "community of believers" who -- normally -- gather in a parish church. The couple being married comes from that community and is calling on the community to witness and support their commitment. When people are baptized, the community is called to accept the new member and to support him/her in the faith journey. Marriage is part of that faith journey. The symbolism of having weddings in churches is that the entire community stands ready to support the newly married couple in this new step in their spiritual journey. That's also why it's not just any church that is appropriate for marriage but the parish church of at least one of the couple and/or their family.

What is the difference?

I am looking for answers. If anyone could share with me the differences between Christian/ Protestant faith vs. Catholics. I've seen few similarities in the gospel, the trinity, and perhaps salvation. However I am questioning the Mother Mary who is recognized or put on pedistal far more than the Christian faith. All the saints are put also on the pedistal rather than Jesus disciples. My own understanding of the Christian faith is solid, and I have no intention to change. However being brought together in a marriage where we are different, yet similar still leaves questions in my heart.

The big difference

is that the Catholic Church was begun by Jesus and contain the fullness of what He revealed; Protestant Churches were founded by mere men 1500 years later, and have part of Christ's truth.

With regard to Mary and the Saints, we believe Jesus when He said He was the Vine and we are the branches. We believe if one makes it to heaven, one is not severed from the Vine, but more perfectly united to Him. We also believe that Jesus never broke any of the 10 Commandments, one of which is, to "honor thy father and thy mother." The Hebrew word that we translate to "honor" is actually closer to our English word, "glorify." And if we are to emulate Jesus as best we can, then we also "honor" Mary. She is not God, nor even close to that level. But she is far above us. And, so are the Saints.

Jesus walked the earth almost 2000 years ago. He taught orally. They called him rabbi (teacher). He wrote nothing, as far as we know, with the possible exception of writing in the dust when they brought the woman caught in adultery to Him. Even the New Testament says that not everything Jesus did or taught is IN the Bible. (See John 21:25) Yet, Jesus commanded the Apostles (and their successors) to go forth and teach "ALL" that He had taught them, and that He would remain with the Church till the end of the world. (Matt. 28:20) So, if everything isn't written down, but everything is supposed to be taught...where's the the part that's not written down, i.e., where's the rest?! In Sacred Tradition, which St. Paul talks about in 2 Thes 2:15. The "Word of God" is not a book. It is a Person, Jesus Christ, Who has transmitted His message to us in two modes: orally and in writing, both of which carry equal weight.

A bit of history

2 Thessalonians 2:15

15 So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings[a] we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.

Just to point out that this letter, 2 Thess, was written in the 50's - before any of the Gospels were written and before there had been much in the way of development of Tradition. At this point it was embryonic.

"Catholic Church was begun by Jesus and contain the fullness of what He revealed; Protestant Churches were founded by mere men 1500 years later, and have part of Christ's truth."

It's not unusual for Catholics to put other Christians into a lesser category by saying that Protestant denominations are founded by 'mere' men, and that Catholicism was founded by a Jesus (God AND Man) with other 'mere' men, when in actuality, there seemed to be a sense of remaining true to Judaism WITH the Messiah. The big question at this stage was whether or not a person must become a Jew before they could become Christian. The break from Judaism came some years later. The primary earliest split came with Paul supporting a church with Gentiles and James remaining Christian inside Judaism. My point would be that the Catholic Church didn't suddenly appear on the earth when Jesus ascended into Heaven. And for the first few hundred years Orthodoxy developed and slowly the Eastern and Roman factions emerged which eventually split in 1054. So it wasn't quite as simple as is represented.

Jesus didn't ever speak of a Trinity. He didn't ever talk about purgatory and when he instituted the Eucharist, he said "Take, eat, ALL of you." That included Judas, excluding no one. And the scriptures that he spoke about were always the Hebrew Scriptures.

But I can't resist saying from personal experience that it's probably better for one or the other of you change your membership and come to a unity of religious expression.

A bit more of history...

You miss the point when you try to say that because 2 Thes 2:15 was "written before the Gospels were written..." It doesn't matter whether they were written. The teachings and the stories were already known and being spread...orally. The Gospels existed from the point they happened, forward. Being written didn't make them suddenly become true or relevant. And, no, the Gospels, passed along orally, weren't "embryonic." They were fully and completely developed.

Before 1054 A.D., there was but one Church, which very early on (110 A.D.) became known as "Catholic."

"Let no one do anything of concern to the Church without the bishop. Let that be considered a valid Eucharist which is celebrated by the bishop or by one whom he ordains [i.e., a presbyter]. Wherever the bishop appears, let the people be there; just as wherever Jesus Christ is, there is the Catholic Church" (Letter to the Smyrneans 8:2 [A.D. 110]).

There is but one Church, the Catholic Church, which is the Sacrament of Salvation and the Mystical Body of Christ. When Saul (Paul) was going around persecuting the Church, Jesus knocked him down and asked him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me?" Note that Jesus didn't ask him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute My Church?" It was, "...why do you persecute Me?" Jesus and His Church are one. No one gave anyone permission or authority to found a Church separate from the one Jesus founded. And Jesus trained 12 Apostles, and commanded them to likewise train others. That's the hierarchy of His Church.

The Catholic Church is indefectibly Holy. Not because of the Pope, the bishops, the priests, or the laity. But because it has as its head, Jesus Christ. And has as its soul, the Holy Spirit. It was so from the beginning. And Jesus promised to remain with His Church till the end of the world. (Matt. 28:20) Either He told the truth, or He lied. If He lied, then we're all wasting our time.

"And, no, the Gospels, passed

"And, no, the Gospels, passed along orally, weren't "embryonic." They were fully and completely developed."

First, I'd recommend that you read the book of Acts, Chapter 2 and read Peter's first preaching. I think you'll find that it can only be understood as the Message in development, but, it's a free country, so make your own judgment. It's funny the emphasis Peter puts on 'man' with no hint that Jesus is on the same level as God, and no hint of the Trinity, which you chose not to respond to, nor to purgatory. Just so you know, my point is not that Jesus was only a man; my point is that there was development of understanding, doctrine and dogma and that it took place over time.

You say that it doesn't matter that the Gospels weren't yet written. Again that's your right to believe that way, but it seems to defy reason. I won't insist on arguing that the world is round.

St Thomas Aquinas famously said, "Beware the man of one book."

Let's start, Kai, with the

Let's start, Kai, with the fact that Catholics are Christians.

We all have our heroes. For Catholics the saints, and especially Mary, are heroes because they lived their lives in the way we strive to live ours. But the hero of all heroes for Catholics is Jesus Christ, Son of God, the Messiah, who became man and died on the cross so that we may live and enter into heaven, eternal bliss, with God. He is our primary model and our worship is centered around him.

The next time you attend a Catholic Mass pay close attention to the number of times Mary and the Saints are mentioned in the prayers of the Mass and you will get a very good picture of the relative importance of the Saints, Mary, and Jesus Christ to Catholics.

I hope this answers your question.

While, yes the church is more

While, yes the church is more sacred by association, if the couple is really strong believers it doesn't matter where they say their vows, God is everywhere. What's more important is that God stays in the marriage beyond the wedding day.

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