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Like many parents of young children, Ivan Uberti likes to begin his family's supper by saying grace. But in addition to saying a traditional mealtime prayer, Uberti's family takes time for another, less common spiritual practice he learned at his local Jesuit parish.

Along with his wife and three children, Uberti, a broker in New York City, prays the examen, short for "examen of consciousness," a form of prayer first introduced by St. Ignatius of Loyola in the 16th century. This brief reflection involves taking a few moments to review the blessings and challenges of one's day.

"At the dinner table when we say grace, I'll ask my kids, ‘Do you have anything to thank God for? Did anything good happen to you today? What do you want to pray for?'" says Uberti.

Like Uberti, many laypeople have begun incorporating spiritual practices that first originated in religious orders like the Jesuits, Carmelites, Benedictines, or Franciscans into their everyday lives. Inspired by their parish communities, nearby retreat centers, and monasteries, or by their own personal reading, these individuals devote much time and energy to living the charisms of these spiritual "families."

Official, card-carrying membership isn't required for laypeople to embrace these spiritual families in the larger Catholic community, though some choose to demonstrate their commitment by taking personal vows.

Either way laypeople often find that their "family within the family" helps them grow closer to God and offers them concrete ways to put their faith into action.


Your personal retreat
"With any spirituality, there are three questions any human should be asking," says Father Julio Giulietti, president of Wheeling Jesuit University in West Virginia and former director of the Center for Ignatian Spirituality at Boston College. "Who am I? Who is my God or my higher power? And How do I reach that God, and how does that God want to reach me?"

For those who embrace Ignatian spirituality, the answer to the latter question lies in two important spiritual practices: the examen and the Ignatian spiritual exercises-a 30-day retreat, usually away from home.

The examen, intended to be a 5- or 10-minute prayer, allows you to review how God has been a part of your choices and circumstances.

"We look at how we reflected God's love throughout the day or what troubled us. It's not about blame or praise but awareness," says Giulietti.

St. Ignatius first recorded the spiritual exercises in the 16th century during a year of prayer in Manresa, Spain. He intended the exercises to provide the basis for retreats for priests, religious, and laypeople. For laypeople who can't go away for 30 days, many Jesuit retreat centers offer condensed two-week or eight-day versions of the retreat. For those who want or need to make the retreat at home, the "19th annotation" retreat allows people to practice the Ignatian exercises in the midst of the rest of their lives over a period of nine months.

Uberti says that attending retreats based on the spiritual exercises have changed the way he thinks about God, often in ways that are challenging.

"It has made me realize that it's not just about me and my private relationship with God," Uberti says. "It's also about finding God on earth." He finds this to be difficult at times. "It's easier to leave God in heaven," he says. "But thinking about the idea that God is beside you, it's very difficult. You don't want to see God in your nasty neighbor."

Uberti's exposure to Ignatian spirituality has changed his routine in the workplace as well, where he negotiates financial transactions for clients in the United States, Brazil, and his native Argentina.

For a few moments each day, several times a day, Uberti focuses on something that has nothing to do with finance, yet provides an excellent return on investment, he says. Uberti turns to his office bookshelf, which holds his Bible and books by Mother Teresa and Jesuit spiritual writer Anthony de Mello, and spends a few minutes doing some spiritual reading at his desk. At other times he listens to Gregorian chant on his computer and prays quietly.

"I feel the need to pray during my working hours, every hour or so," he says. "Otherwise, there's this 10- or 11-hour black hole, and it's 6 p.m. before you realize you're a human being again. I don't want that to happen."

Looking for God within the heart of corporate America may not boost Uberti's bottom line, but doing so helps him realize "how God is a part of your day," he says. Setting aside these quiet moments in the midst of a hectic schedule is a practice that honors St. Ignatius's call to "find God in all things"-even in corporate America. Uberti has taken those words to heart.


Get to work
Awareness plays an important role in another, more ancient spirituality as well-that of the Benedictines. Benedictine spirituality has its roots in the life and writings of St. Benedict of Nursia, a fifth-century saint who founded a monastic community and wrote the Rule of St. Benedict, a practical and spiritual guide for religious life. More than 1,400 Benedictine and Cistercian communities of men and women still live the Rule today, along with thousands of laypeople who have embraced its wisdom. Those who follow the Rule say it's not so much a set of religious prescriptions as it is a way of life.

"It's a certain take on the gospel," says Pat Giesen of Cold Spring, Minnesota, a retired financial services professional who is a Benedictine oblate. An oblate, according to Giesen, is "a layperson who makes a commitment to follow the spirit of the Rule to the extent they can as a layperson." Oblates like Giesen typically have a close relationship with a nearby Benedictine monastery, and sometimes visit for communal prayers, reflections and retreats. Giesen maintains a close relationship with St. John's Abbey in Collegeville, Minnesota.

Giesen reflects on short passages from the Rule of St. Benedict every day, according to a schedule established by the monastery. The Rule includes both practical and spiritual instruction side by side, a juxtaposition that's no coincidence.

The Benedictine "slogan" ora et labora, or "pray and work," captures the idea that though one should take time to pray, one's daily work can be a form of prayer, too.

"When Benedict founded the community, he said essentially, ‘We will earn our living by the sweat of our brow,'" says Sister Joan Chittister, O.S.B., who has written numerous books on Benedictine spirituality. "They were working monks-they were the order that taught farming to all of Europe when the Roman Empire broke down."

Those who embrace Benedictine spirituality more than 1,500 years later still try to be mindful of God's presence during their work.

"No matter what you do, you offer it to God and ask for the strength to do it," says Lucie Johnson, a Benedictine oblate living in Minneapolis. "You do it in the presence of God, so it becomes a form of prayer. Prayer and work become one, in a sense-if you're doing kitchen work, your pots and pans become like the vessels of the altar."

Johnson, a university psychology professor and information technology consultant, says she tries to apply much of Benedict's wisdom to her own personal and professional life, even when he appears to be speaking specifically to monks. A chapter on how abbots should lead their communities, she says, has given her insights into how to handle the authority she has in her job.

"Of course I'm not an abbot," Johnson says, "but I am a professor, and I have responsibility for my students. Benedict says when you are in authority over people you should act as Christ does and respect and listen to people. Benedict says we should care for those who are weaker."

In addition to reflectively reading and living the Rule, another important spiritual practice for Benedictines is lectio divina, Latin for "divine reading." Those who practice lectio take time to slowly read and pray with a brief passage from scripture, often one of the readings from the daily Mass or the Liturgy of the Hours.

"It's not a study method; it's a contemplative praying with scripture," says Johnson. "You slowly read the passage until you find the idea that seems the most salient, then you ask yourself ‘What is this an invitation to do?' ‘What is God trying to show me?'"

For Johnson, who likes to practice lectio in the morning, it "is like being taken on some sort of walk that is different, day by day."