When Heather has two mommies and goes to Catholic school
Monday, March 8, 2010
By Bryan Cones
Comments (29)
The story of the 5-year-old girl who will not be admitted to kindergarten at her Catholic elementary school because her parents are a lesbian couple is burning up the web, notably on the blog of the pastor, where the comments certainly lean against the decision. Setting aside whether you think the pastor and archdiocese made the right decision, the situation has exposed the chasm between the ideal of church teaching and pastoral practice, a chasm I commented on in my January column in US Catholic magazine.
There can be no doubt that church teaching condemns sex between members of the same gender, as well as civil recognition of same-sex relationships and parenting by same-sex couples. On the ground, however, many parishes practice an inclusion that is at odds with the teaching. Children of same-sex couples are baptized, they go to Catholic schools, their parents are involved in school and parish life. In effect they do everything a heterosexually-headed family does except get married.
This isn't the only issue of difference between church teaching and pastoral practice. The non-Catholic spouses of Catholics regularly go to communion. Couples seem capable of limiting their fertility to two children. Catholics divorce and remarry without excluding themselves from the sacraments. Some use fertility treatments frowned upon by the church, and so on. Catholics by and large don't seem overly concerned by the disconnect between the teachings and their lives.
These latter cases are, of course, a little less public than a family with two moms, and so now we have a crisis--and at least if the pastor's blog is any indication, some Catholics are recognizing that applying the church's ideal against two women and their child is inconsistent--and they're wondering who is next.
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Progressive "Catholics" hate
By Anonymous (not verified) on Thursday, March 11, 2010Progressive "Catholics" hate the Catholic Church. Simple fact of the matter, you guys have noting good to say.
Bryan, wrong on the core fact
By Correcting Bryan (not verified) on Thursday, March 18, 2010Bryan writes that homosexual couples do all the same things for their children and church as heterosexual couples--except marry.He also writes that sex and marriage between people of the same sex is clearly against Catholic teaching.No sale! The Catholic schools in question specifically require that parents join with the school and church in teaching the children Catholic beliefs. The homosexual couple simply can not do this. How can they teach teach their children that their life style choice is wrong?
How about two men---or polygammy or two unmarried people living together (although I remember an article---cowardly annonymous--in your magazine advocating cohabitation and sex before marriage (Megan??))
No child should be denied entrance into a Catholic school
By Eminem Relapse Refill Fan (not verified) on Thursday, March 18, 2010Catholic schools already accept students who come from families who don't fit the model of "good Catholic." For example, all Catholic schools I know of have some students who are not of the Catholic Faith. All these schools also have children enrolled whose parents live all sorts of lifestyles that are not in accord with Church teachings (divorced, cohabitating, etc., not to mention many off-the-wall, strange ways of life that stray far from what we'd consider Church norms.).
Catholic schools should be faithful to Church teaching. I understand the school's concerns in this day and age. But as long as gay "parents" don't object to the school's teaching that homosexual behavior is wrong, and as long as these gay "parents" don't try to impose their own lifestyle on the school, then the school should accept the children, in my opinion.
The role of the school is to teach the young, not to be moral police of parents. Whereas a priest refusing Communion to someone can be justified in some cases, a school refusing a child simply on the basis of parents' choices is not similarly justified.
We should focus effort on making sure the Catholic schools are faithful to the Magisterium in their teachings, which in most cases they're not... rather than trying to police parents.
It doesn't add up
By Across the Pond (not verified) on Thursday, March 11, 2010Archbishop Chaput, who I have great respect for, has tried to soften the Church's position by saying that children of other faiths and no faith attend Catholic schools. Do the parents of other faiths believe what their children are being told - which Fr Breslin has suggested is what is required to receive a Catholic education? I doubt it. And unless the diocese can prove 100 per cent that the divorced and single parents whose children it accepts in its schools are not sexually active, that argument is also a non-starter.
Defending the Church at the moment is hard enough in the wake of the abuse cases - discriminating against a five-year-old child and preventing her from receiving a Catholic education - no matter who her parents are - is just indefensible.
Wake up
By Anonymous (not verified) on Wednesday, March 10, 2010Picture if you will a flaming homosexual couple getting involved in the parent meetings, and school activites, at a Catholic school(with young impressionable children!) and being very open about it.
Wake up people! You talk the talk but if they were your kids being exposed to these people in the form of chaperones or parent volunteers you'd change your minds in a heartbeat.
Not to mention the logical fallacy that makes up the entire blog: since we don't treat all sinners the same, let's accept all the sins anyway. Jesus didn't accept the sins, he accepted the people. Not synonymous.
A "flaming homosexual couple"
By Bryan Cones on Thursday, March 11, 2010Can we keep it charitable here? I think "flaming" is likely not a term that should appear in polite conversation about the place of gay and lesbian people in society. If you are talking about specific forms of dress or something, be specific. Resorting to shibboleths and stereotypes is unworthy of baptized people.
Bryan Cones
When Heather has two mommies and goes to Catholic school
By LakeChris (not verified) on Wednesday, March 10, 2010I'm a former Catholic church and school administrator. I'm sickened by this church's biased, unloving stance on this subject. Our parish had a lesbian couple as school parents and it fostered understanding and encouraged all of us to walk and talk as REAL "christians". This diocese's attitude is NOT what Jesus would do. Clearly.
We are fast approaching a time when many American Catholics will break from the Vatican hypocrites. It is well known that there are practicing gay priests and married priests all over the world (in a don't ask, don't tell situations). This is supposedly "big" violation of vows... yet the ones "they" target are lesbian school moms???
If it were me... trust that I would NOT raise my child Catholic after this happened. I'm ashamed of the Catholic politicians acting in ways that Jesus would not. When is someone going to develop enough backbone in the Catholic church to finally insist on Jesus-like behavior and policies amongst those who would lead us?
banning Heather
By Anonymous (not verified) on Wednesday, March 10, 2010Oh wait. This is in Chaput's diocese. That explains a lot.
Chaput's response
By Megan Sweas on Thursday, March 11, 2010Here's Chaput's response to the situation: http://www.uscatholic.org/news/2010/03/archbishop-defends-boulder-schools-decision-children-lesbians.
heather and her moms
By d. novak (not verified) on Wednesday, March 10, 2010Just when was it that the church went back to the doctrine of punishing the child for the sins of the parent? I thought that was put away back in New testament times. The church objects to gay/lesbian parenthood because it doesn't thing these people are proper parents. Yet when the couple in question makes an effort to do the right thing by their child, the parish says "no". Iwonder now if perhaps a "catholic education" isn't a moral hazard itself and something "Heather" should not be subjected to.
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