You might be a Catholic if...
Monday, January 4, 2010
By Megan Sweas
Comments (22)
Over at Loyola Press, Paul has a blog listing some of his own "you may be a Catholic if..." jokes. The idea inspired us at U.S. Catholic and we've gathered some of our own. Add your ideas, too!
You might be a Catholic if...
...you jockey for the pews in the back of church.
...you actually remember who your patron saint is.
...you include your Confirmation name when people ask you what your full name is.
...you understand that the church, like an ocean liner, is not built to change direction speedily on contentious issues, and you know that overall that's a good thing, even if it means you probably won't see certain changes in your lifetime.
...you feel at home when you enter a Catholic church in another country even if you have little idea what's being said.
...you secretly calculate the length of Sunday Mass as well as how long the priest's homily lasts, and you rejoice when they find a way to move it along a bit.
...you know someone you think would make a good bishop.
...you say a prayer when you hear a siren wailing.
How would you complete this sentence? Add your ideas here:
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You might be a Catholic if...
By Jerry (not verified) on Thursday, December 16, 2010...you only put a dollar bill in the collection basket, and you still reach back in for change.
...your father is Irish and your mother is superior.
You might be Catholic if
By Margaret (not verified) on Thursday, December 16, 2010You might be Catholic if at the end of a phone message, instead of saying goodbye, you say Amen.
(Yes, I did this.)
You might be Irish Catholic if
By Anonymous (not verified) on Wednesday, October 6, 2010You head for the pub after mass instead of the donut hour.
Slainte
By Anonymous (not verified) on Thursday, December 16, 2010I come from a long line of Irish Catholic men. Not one of us would willingly cross the street after mass to donut hour if there was a pub nearby.
Parish activities are mostly organized by and geared toward women. God love women but most of us Irish Catholic Men attend mass for faith, tradition and the Eucharist, not bad coffee, donuts, more church, priests, women and kids.
We've fulfilled our Sunday Obligation.
See you at the pub.
re: Irish Catholic...
By Eminem-Recovery in stores now (not verified) on Wednesday, October 6, 2010-
Funny story:
My two uncles (brothers, both 100% Irish in ethnic origin) used to walk to and attend Mass together back in the 1950s and 60s every Sunday.... I believe it was the noon Mass at their parish.
When the priest would start his sermon, they would walk out of the church, walk across the street to the pub, have a drink or two or three, and then return back to their pews in time for the offertory.
They used to estimate the amount of pub time they had, depending on which priest was celebrating, and on how long that particular priest usually preached for.
You might be an (older) Catholic if....
By Ann A. Thema (not verified) on Wednesday, October 6, 2010...you find yourself irritated about where on earth the "descended into hell" words in the creed disappeared to....
Must have gone to too many years of Catholic school. . .
By Jim (not verified) on Wednesday, January 13, 2010. . . If you genuflect in a movie theater.
If every time you see Bill Donohue
By jim (not verified) on Monday, January 11, 2010of the Catholic League on TV you cringe, and feel obligated to apologize to your non-Catholic friends.
Did you see him on the Simpson's special last night? Millions of people were viewing, and Donohue came off as the worst, most humorless ambassador for the Faith. He has caused many people to be turned off to Christianity and Catholicism-is there a bishop who will call him on this?
You might be a Catholic if
By Meghan Murphy-Gill on Monday, January 11, 2010...when you go to a Protestant wedding and it feel really short.
You might be a Catholic if....
By Art (not verified) on Wednesday, January 6, 2010you say a prayer for the faithfully departed when you go by a cemetery.
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